When I went out for coffee in Detroit, I originally went to a popular, well-known coffee place.

Dude, fuck that place.

It checked all my hipstery boxes in terms of aesthetics and coffee, but the thing that set me off was how their internet didn’t work. Just flat out, didn’t work.

Now, I get that this is a coffee place, and not an internet cafe. I get that. But when I brought it up to the barista in a very – “hey, is your internet working?” She said something like, “Oh, yeah I’ll reset it.”

Which also didn’t work. I sat there for a half hour trying to get the wifi to work (already got a coffee), only to discover (from another patron) that the internet there just doesn’t work. That made me angry enough to leave, but to be honest, I’d probably go back. They have solid coffee, and a wine selection – I was just in a mindset to get stuff done, and was slightly irritated that I set up shop, got coffee, and wasted 30 minutes dicking around with the internet connection.

SEE ALSO: Apparently, They Don’t Serve Wine Here

Anyway, I ended up at ASHE Supply Co, which is now the topic of this post.

I cozied up in a corner and got a lot of stuff done, while sipping some fancy hipster drink I forgot the name of.

Now this is going to sound weird, but everything in Detroit was much more attractive than I expected. Everything.

“The guys are hot here.” I texted Annabel, peering up at one from over my computer. “He looks like the grown up version of Devon Sawa in the last 10 minutes of Casper.

“But you know, hotter.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” she retorted.

We argued back and forth (playfully) for a minute about how awkward it would be for me to take his picture, Finally, taking her pro tip, I pretended to take a selfie, and instead, took a terrible photo of him from across the room.

SEE ALSO: Gettin Good And Sloppy At Cafe D’Mongo

He looked at me. He watched me do it. To avoid him becoming any more suspicious, I pretended I was fixing my hair, giving realistic tousles while trying to make it appear like I was looking at myself.

I love how he’s 100% on to me, but still uncertain.

“She can’t be flat out taking my picture….right?”


Wrong, future husband. I kind of love how, very artistically and unintentionally, his face is blurred out.

So guys, lesson learned – next time it looks like a girl is taking a selfie, she’s probably just taking a picture of you.

This post has taken a weird turn.