Nearly three months ago, I gave up my life and headed to Iceland. Within those three months, I’ve been uncomfortable, exhilarated, fearful, nervous and fulfilled. I’ve done things I never thought I would do – like hitchhike for nearly four weeks – and things I’ve always wanted to do – lie beneath and marvel at the Eiffel Tower.
The start of the trip seems like a lifetime ago. I stand at the end of my map, the completion of my journey, and marvel at something different – myself. This adventure has pushed me to my very limits, challenged me, and brought me to near exhaustion.
My biggest mistake was thinking that it would be easy – that once I got the life I wanted, it wouldn’t take much to maintain my happiness. It didn’t work out that way. There were days I didn’t want to continue. During some of my time in England, I was so homesick, I felt ill. My only company was a furious looking, fluffy grey cat. I found myself reconnecting with friends and family, desperate for a familiar voice or words of encouragement.
There were days I couldn’t wait to push on. On a midnight bus to Paris, I was so absolutely giddy, I could barely sleep. I remember being absolutely speechless upon the top of the glacier in Southern Iceland. In those experiences was the reminder – “oh yeah, this is why I’m doing this.” It’s amazing how emotions and desires ebb and flow – even for a cocky, self confident 26 year old.
Right there lies the importance of staying focused on ambitions, the importance of continuing to fulfill yourself… even the days you don’t want to. The truth is, sometimes, you’ll want to give up — and it’ll be really easy to. The mistake lies in the defeat – the willingness to surrender to doubt or fear. It seems that in life, the only thing we’re guaranteed is an undetermined amount of time. Time spent worrying, doubting and holding back is time wasted.
I’ve realized during this trip that there will always be uncertainty in life, whether you’re working a desk job or wandering all over the world. The important thing is to surround yourself with the people, places and experiences that make you better, stronger. To battle uncertainty with determination – determination to continue towards being the best possible version of yourself. To cut out the noise, the filler in the interest of not wasting precious time. To defend and protect what you hold dear – your dreams, your ambitions, and the people you love.
At the end of the day, knowing that I’m moving in the right direction lightens the weight of any doubt, any fear, or any unfortunate circumstance. That’s my takeaway from all of this – not to make decisions out of doubt or fear. To stay motivated, happy and focused on the things that fulfill me.
Thanks to everyone who continue to follow me on my adventures – I hope that my stumbles and musings bring you some kind of clarity or perspective. I’ve received an overwhelming amount of support from you all, and it means the world to me.