Today is my last week at Method Savvy. For weeks, this departure hasn’t really felt real. I was too busy trying to make plans.
As I wrote previously, there are so many things I could do now. The pressure of that, despite my humor about it, has been immense. Having the idea to (metaphorically) skydive is terrifying, jumping out of the plane is exhilarating, the free fall is both.
That’s where I am now – the free fall. I feel a kind of grand sense of purpose, of finally stepping up to whatever it is that I’m supposed to with my writing. But that awesome feeling of “go get ’em, tiger!” is occasionally littered with questions logical people ask themselves after they’ve done something drastic.
It’s like having all of the pieces, but only a hazy idea on how they fit together.
I know I want to give myself to my writing and travel. I want to actually craft articles that I can submit to magazines. I want to get a remote, part-time job that I can align with various odd jobs, either continuing to wait tables, or something else that strikes me.
I’m dedicated to this plan.
I spent an hour last night emailing Workaways for the next year. No rhythm or pattern to it, just whatever called to me. Work in North Idaho for an adventurous, yet busy mother of two? Sure. Go help man a bed and breakfast in Maine or California? Yeah, I’m down.
Various others, ranging from working on a coffee farm in Costa Rica to bartending at a hostel/surf camp also called to me, and I answered all of those calls with thoughtful, concise emails.
I brought things that were hanging in the balance – a potential move to Georgia, and now, possibly Western North Carolina, depending on “how a few things go”, as far along as I reasonably could. No stones left unturned this time. Nothing will pass because of a lack of effort or risk.
I have an interview at a local pizza place on Wednesday. I’m seeing Heather Havrilesky at Motorco tonight. I’m heading up to Asheville this weekend to poke around with Matt and Tess. I want to show God, or whatever universal force you believe in, that I’m not dicking around. I will show up for any assignment I’m given.
I will buy all of the lottery tickets, reply to all the job listings, I will look at uncertainty in the face and make a friend of it.