By Melissa Elise Randall, Editor
When I was younger, I wasn't a particularly motivated person. I had loose dreams of becoming an actress or writer, but didn't begin to recognize an inner, burning ambition to pursue my interests until college.
At first, I went to Cazenovia College in Upstate New York for a semester, only to drop out and take a semester off. That semester off was miserable. I moved home with my parents. I don't remember if I worked or anything I did. I just knew that I wanted to go back to college. Since I had dropped out, my options were a little limited, so I went back to Cazenovia for a year, improved my grades, and decided I wanted to go to school in Philadelphia.
I applied to Temple University (my mom's alma mater), and got accepted. I started my first semester the following fall.
My Dream Job: My Stereotypical Aha Moment
After starting school, I still didn't really "know" what I wanted to do, so I followed my interest and became a Film Major. I experimented with screenwriting, website design, and production until I graduated, in just three years. Then, my career took a crazy shift when I moved to North Carolina to be closer to my military boyfriend.
We got married just three months after my college graduation. I had an assortment of jobs during that time, including interning for a record label in Raleigh, working in marketing at a credit union, and eventually, moving back up to Philadelphia for a year so I could work in content and SEO for an ECommerce company. It was an unpredictable road. I wasn't necessarily following my dream, but I was pursuing skills that I felt would round me out as a professional, and in the short-term, that was fine.
Eventually, I moved back to North Carolina, realizing that I didn't want to work (and spend my entire paycheck) just to live in a city. We opted to move to Wilmington, after I got a job at another ECommerce company. I got the position through a cold pitch to their CEO, just through a simple LinkedIn search for companies in the area.
I still remember writing that email in the cramped living room of my Fishtown row house. I had no idea that it was going to blow up my entire life as I knew it. Just a few months after moving back to North Carolina, my marriage was over, and for the first time in years, I realized that it was time to take a risk.
I wrote another cold email to a few travel companies in Iceland. This was 2013, so travel writing wasn't really a thing yet with bloggers. The pitch was to let me go on some of their excursions and write about it on my blog. I didn't really know what I wanted, but I figured I could just keep asking until someone took me up on my offer.
Two weeks later, they did. I quit my job and I was Iceland bound just a month or so later. Looking back, it was such a turning point for me because I realized something critical:
I could do whatever I wanted with my life.
Since, I've adhered to a few simple career rules to keep me moving towards my goals. I recently shared these tips at a "Cool Women, Hot Jobs" event at Glow Academy in Wilmington, NC., and wanted to do a quick write-up about how they've helped me stay on track and be happy.
Answer This Question
After I got divorced (and life as I knew it, imploded), I decided I basically had nothing to lose when it came to my job. And I figured out what I wanted to do by filling in this blank:
All I Really Want To Do Is ______________.
For me, those things were writing, travel, experiencing new cultures, take care of myself financially, and develop my skills. Once I had those aspects defined, I (slowly) but surely started to pivot towards opportunities that would let me accomplish those things.
Define Your Career Aspirations
Travel and writing sounded great, but what would I actually have to do in order to pursue those careers? I didn't know right away, so I made a list of things I would need to travel on my own terms (and make enough money to do so.)
So I filled out another blank.
For me [traveling and writing] means ______________.
- Getting a flexible job - Flexible means that it's not the end of the world if I need to take an afternoon off to catch a flight or something.
- Transferable skills - I never want to be out of work, so I needed a writing job that would give me the best possible skills. For me, that was writing for B2Bs and startups, even though it's not the sexiest line of work.
- A clear path to growth - It's sad, but writers are easily replaceable. If I wanted a secure job, I needed a company that could train me up in other areas, like web design, graphics, video production, and more.
- A company that cares about me - There are a lot of companies who aren't going to care about your personal and professional goals. They just want a butt in the seat. So I wanted to find a company that would recognize I was an individual with hobbies and interests outside of work.
With all of this in mind, I finally had some kind of structure to work from and specific goals to pursue.
Understand The Sacrifice
In a perfect world, Lonely Planet or National Geographic would have just hired me to write for them immediately after I first decided to go to Iceland. But life doesn't work like that, as I had literally no experience when I started.
However, in my early days of traveling, I realized that working for top-notch publications wasn't necessarily my top priority. I just wanted to make enough money to travel and have a remote job. So after I came back from Europe, I got a job as a project manager in Durham, NC and learned the ins-and-outs of content production.
I was there for two years.
I left again to travel for awhile, then found another agency job in Wilmington, where I really wanted to live. I bought a house and made a life here before finally finding the job that would enable me to travel.
It took four years, but I did what I had to do in order to obtain the right skills. It wasn't always fun to wait, but boy howdy, it definitely got me on the right track. And while it would still be fun to work for a big travel publication, I suspect that having a huge profile of work and my own travel site will pay off in spades later.
Anticipate A Challenge
It's not easy to follow your dreams. Along the way, you're going to work late hours. You're going to be broke sometimes. You're going to have to do a lot of foundational stuff that isn't that thrilling. But if you want to get to the finish life, you need to do that stuff. You need to earn it.
There isn't an easier way, I promise. And the longer you spend resenting the fact it's not easy, or looking for ways to cheat the system, the longer it will take to achieve your dreams when you finally get your head on straight and start doing the work.
Own The Crazy
A lot of people scoffed at my travel writing plans. They thought it was ridiculous that I didn't want an office job. They told me that Wilmington wasn't a practical place to live. They told me to be more realistic. You get the idea.
I didn't listen and let my stubbornness lead the way. It wasn't always easy to do, but now, the same people who made jokes and tried to get me off track ask me how I did it. They tell me how awesome it is that I followed my dreams.
They say, "I wish I could do that."
Well, they could, if they really wanted to. And you can, too. You just need to be a little stubborn and crazy, and decide that you're going to pursue something you're actually passionate about.
Find the thing you want to chase, and from there:
- Chart A Course - Get down to the essentials and write a list of the things you would actually need to do in order to achieve your dream.
- Don't Give Up - A lot of people will want you to. They'll tell you that you're not the person for the job. Ignore them. Keep going. I guarantee that while you're working towards your goal, they will continue to say "I can't," to every and any challenge that comes their way.
- Don’t Settle - There were a lot of agency jobs I could have kept going with, if I had wanted to. And I would have been pretty happy. But each time, I remembered that it wasn't my dream, and trusted that I would know when it was the right time to leave.
- Be Your Best Self - Pursue the things that scare you. Be creative. Dye your hair bright blue. Whatever makes you feel like you're in line with who you want to be. While you're waiting for your dreams to come true, work on being the best possible version of yourself possible.
These are kind of cheesy tips, but they work - trust me.
It's Just You
There isn't a friend, boyfriend, parent, or sibling on this planet that is going to make your dreams come to life. No one else is going to do the work, or care as much about your happiness as you will. That's why if you want to be successful, you need to remember that when it comes to following your dreams:
It's you, or it's you.
Someone will always be there to distract you. There's always going to reasons that you shouldn't continue. Expect that life will throw whatever it needs to at you to make sure that you're serious about getting what you want. You will be tested.
Keep going. Even if it takes a decade, don't give up on what you want. The time will pass anyway, so you might as well try.
Get More Drifty
Sign-up for our weekly(ish) newsletter.