If you didn’t read the post related to this, read it here. Or remain without context.

Name: Melissa
Other Aliases: Missy, Driftyland Missy, that girl who looks like Justin Bieber during his blonde phase.
Sense of Humor: A combination of Adventure Time, Futurama, South Park and Bob’s Burger’s references mixed in with the dark sarcasm of Aubrey Plaza’s character in Parks and Rec.
I Always: Give my dog compliments.
I Never: Use low sodium soy sauce.

Hair: Tinkerbell Pixie Blonde
Eyes: Dirty Nickel Blue
Height: Shorter than you
Weight: Smaller than you
Tattoos: Six, but you’ll never spot all of them.
Piercings: None.
Favorite Fashion Item: Boots
Least Favorite Fashion Item: Polo shirts and those sunglasses that people wear backwards with a lanyard.

Favorite Travel Destination: Iceland
What’s Next On The List: Paris, Portugal, Reykjavik, Montreal
Other Places On The List: Argentina, Thailand, Bali, Vietnam, Madrid, Athens, Costa Rica, Vancouver, Taiwan… ::scrolls down infinitely::

First Job: Sales Assistant at The UPS Store
Current Job: Project Manager at an Ad Agency Startup 
Dream Job: Anthony Bourdain

Conventional Celebrity Crush: Jason Segel or Evan Peters
Non- Conventional Celebrity Crush: Walter Matthau

Important Credentials:

  • I have never once watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or have been tempted to. Not even when I’ve had the flu.
  • Bloody Marys are bae.
  • I say things like bae, sometimes ironically.
  • I look like a troll doll when I wake up.
  • I love to write, draw, paint, hike and explore. Even when I’m not the best at those things.
  • I shook hands with Oprah once (ran out of credentials).

Characteristics of “Ideal” Date:

  • Trying somewhere new or exotic to eat. Fried chicken is always on the table.
  • A 4-5 mile hike minus judgement.
  • Checking out an art museum or photography exhibit.
  • Actually making art or taking photos.
  • Walking through an open air food/thrifty market (does this read like hipster mad libs, yet?)
  • In a perfect world, this Icelandic knife making class. 

Characteristics/Comments About “Ideal” Person On Said Date:

  • I’ve always preferred tall guys, though I know that’s unfair.
  • Sense of humor is very important.
  • Beards get bonus points.
  • If you’re into photography, I will be very excited.
  • Between the ages of 27-32 (I am 29).
  • I will laugh at you if you wear boat shoes.
  • Overall, typically get along with openminded, enthusiastic, positive, slightly brash individuals who can take a joke.
  • As it’s been said, must love travel. Forgive me for the cliche.

To meet up with me for an unconventionally adventurous blind date and be stalked by my friends on social media, email driftyland [at] gmail [dot] com. Make sure you read post about why I do this first.