So…I’m not a big fan of holidays.
I hate overstuffing myself on Thanksgiving. Christmas comes and goes. Birthdays are fun, and of course, document age. But despite my indifference for holidays, I’ve realized as of late that I always look forward to New Years.
New Years offers an opportunity for change. That clock strikes midnight and you’re renewed. It’s a chance to start over. You can start taking steps to change your life, if you feel the desire to.
I’ve always focused on writing about change, self-improvement, and progression. Usually I wait until after New Years to reflect on the past year, but this year, I’m getting an early start.
It was a really busy 2013 for me, (trips to Iceland, Europe, a new job that I love, and lots of adventures). I hope 2014 proves to be as fruitful. But instead of focusing on my life, I want to focus on yours.
A few months ago, I had a conversation with Mike about ways to overcome bad experiences. We were walking on a back street in Rome, on our way back from the Trevi Fountain. I don’t recall how the topic came up, but we started talking about when life kicks you down, you need to get back up.
I’ve been thinking about that since, and the idea inspired this post. Based on what I’ve learned, here are some tried and true steps to change your life:
Get Excited
When I’m feeling meh about life, there’s two things I tend to do. First, I try to remember my worst life experience.
Why?
Because when you remember how terrible it was, how crappy it made you feel, you face your worst fear. The fear of things going terribly for you, of being a failure, and you sit with that feeling. You allow that feeling to comfort you, instead of scare you. You’ve been there, and you’ve come back from it.
The second thing I do is get excited. I think about my potential, and about everything the world has to offer. I give myself an ego boost. I focus on my talents. I think about what I want to get better at. I remember that I’m healthy, I have my youth, and most importantly, I have imagination and ambition on my side.
Once you realize you can do anything, your walls of self-doubt will crumble.
Realize You’ll Suck At First
Thanks to my cousin Samantha, I’ve addicted to Adventure Time. It’s a show on Cartoon Network meant for kids, but has brilliant adult undertones. One of my favorite quotes from the show comes from Jake, one of the protagonists:
Surprisingly insightful.
When I got back from Europe, I thought a lot about what I did wrong. What I could have done better – with this blog, with my experiences. Then I stopped and realized – taking that first step, getting on that plane, was just the start. I wasn’t immediately going to be GREAT at being a travel blogger. It’s a process that can take years, so yeah, at first, I kind of sucked at it.
I also apply this to running. I’m always trying to be a runner. After running everyday for two weeks, I twisted my ankle. I was so angry at myself, at my body, for failing me. But I waited it out, and two weeks later, started up again. It’s a slow process, and I’m by no means “good at it”, but being bad at it comes before being better at it.
Look Good, Feel Good
This is a Missy-ism I thought of years ago.
I try to look my best, or near it, most of the time. Even when I sleep.
That sounds ridiculous and over the top to some, but man, most of the time, I feel great. If I slept terribly the night before, I get up, look in the mirror, and suddenly, my $40 nightgown pays for itself. I get a little boost from wearing something that I love.
When I used to work for Queensboro, I dressed up all the time. It was a casual work environment, and yes, I could of (and occasionally did) wear jeans. But most of the time, I wore form-fitting dresses. I felt more confident that way.
Even at the gym, or when I run, I try to wear something I feel really good in. I don’t mind running in sweats and an old tee, but I feel as if I perform better when I’m wearing something ala Claire Underwood on House of Cards. Call it vain, but it works for me.
Speaking of House of Cards…
Find Things That Motivate You
The things that motivate me might surprise you. Your motivational tools are probably different. But heck, once you find something that gets your blood pumping, hold on to it for dear life. It’s fuel.
Whether it be an article, a blog, an inspirational quote, someone to look up to, or heck, even a TV show, bookmark it. Keep it close. In your times of sloth and laziness, you might need it to kick you in the butt.
On weekends, if I start feeling sluggish, I watch an episode of House of Cards.
As crazy and evil as Kevin Spacey’s character, Francis Underwood, can be, you can’t deny that he’s probably the most ambitious person on this planet. You can’t knock him for that.
Hearing one of his token – neverstoppushingforward – confessionals to the camera kicks my ass in gear.
Never Underestimate Silliness
I won’t deny that some of my initial fascination with Adventure Time was sparked by Rand Fishkin. The CEO of Moz is an avid fan, and admits to having seen each episode at least three times.
Surprising, right?
Not really.
Whether or not Rand’s aware of it, allowing time to let your mind wander, giving yourself time to laugh at something silly – as humans, we need that. Life is hard, and if you don’t allow some giggle room, you’re going to have a much harder time.
So whether it be a quick Lil’Dicky video, reading excerpts of The Twits, or catching up on Adventure Time, I get myself ample time to be silly.
Force It
Some days, you’re not going to want it. What’s it? It is the life you imagine yourself having.
On those days, it’s much more tempting to sit on the sofa and do nothing. On those days you’re going to have to fake it, and yes, force it. I watched this TED Talk recently that talked about how to stop screwing yourself.
Career and relationship expert Mel Robbins discusses how although getting what you want is SIMPLE, it’s rarely easy. The days you’re not wanting it, not fighting for it, you absolutely have to change. You start by forcing yourself to do things, breaking behavioral patterns that hinder your success.
What are your favorite tips for success?