Remember the Butter episode of Seinfeld, when Kramer sits on the roof slathered in, yeah, you guessed it.

Well, when I climbed Piestewa Peak (2,610 feet) in Phoenix last May, I had similar sentiments.

All of the 75 SPF sunscreen in the world couldn’t ease that heat.

Put a fork in me, Jerry.

I’m done.

The hike itself was really kick ass. Nothing makes you feel like you’re climbing a mountain like bits of rock and dirt crumbling around your feet. Watch your step people, I’m sure the Phoenix adventure squad (or whoever scoops ill equipped tourists off mountain tops there) have better things to do than come collect yo broken ass.

Pro tips: Bring sunscreen, leave early in the morning, and don’t forget the water. Lots of water. Ignore the locals that literally hop, skip and jump to the top and in turn, laugh at you for taking awhile.